For MLV

Almost five years to the day we lost my sister Debbie, Meredith, who you’ve read about here before, passed away. 

Like the Senioritas of Ramsey, Meredith had a tribe of folks who loved, cheered and rallied around her and her family. From summer garden parties to Saturday morning MLV5K-5K walks, love for our friend fueled us. 

Meredith was whip smart, a trusted resource to all in her orbit. She liked to laugh - oftentimes at herself and her kids. She had high expectations of everyone and because she would never ask you to do something she wouldn’t do herself, you didn’t want to disappoint her. She was a parent first but it didn’t take long to call her friend. 

Suann and I have been in Italy since the end of June and as we’ve wandered about I’ve stopped in every church we pass to light a candle. I’m not sure where I am when it comes to religion so I went with the simplest prayer of all....

Please...bring comfort to MLV;

Please...hold Meredith’s family and friends in your heart;

Please....welcome MLV with open arms. 

I’ll keep lighting candles the next few days when we are in Paris but the prayer will change...

Thank you for bringing Meredith into our lives;

Thank you for showing us what love in action looks like;

Help us be present for the Vartuli and Lynch families and for one another, not just this week but in the future;

Help us be a little like Meredith - kind and generous with a touch of stubbornness. 

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

God is love and so was Pops....

Book talks and drive by hugs

Yesterday was one of the best days of the year. Kathy J, our favorite librarian was visiting school to talk books with 3rd, 4th and 5th grade. Kathy has this way of mesmerizing kids with her book talks. Adults, too. 

As Kathy was doing her thing I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see my friend and mentor, Sue W, recently retired to South Carolina. On her way to the airport after visiting family for the weekend she stopped by for what she called a “drive by hug.” Sue hired me way back in 2001 and has been a wonderful influence in my life. 

And if having time with Kathy and Sue wasn’t enough, colleague Gretchen is retiring. She requested a simple get together in the Learning Commons. Gretchen is finishing up 30 years at NMS and her reach is long - retired colleagues and former parents came back to celebrate. And as gracious as these former teachers and families  were in saying good-bye to Gretchen, I was reminded of how wonderful they were to me when I showed up eighteen years ago. Among the returnees was Frank, the former principal who gave me another chance at teaching. It changed my life. 

The last couple of weeks of school are the longest of the year but I’m ready for them. I have been recharged by seeing the folks who believed in me long before I believed in myself.

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

Full hearts

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

What hope sounds like...

Recently a colleague who knows me well and follows the blog left me a book written by one of her kindergartners. It was a perfect reminder on a rainy day that hope exists, that love is possible and that I am so very lucky to work at North Mianus School. 

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

And then it’s spring…

One day 40 years ago when I was a freshman in high school, Sr. Helen my religion teacher asked all of her students to meet her at the windows. Sr. Helen was probably in her sixties or seventies and was affectionally known as the blue nun because of the tint her beautiful white hair had. Religion was in the old building at Ursuline and the windows were tall and wide. As we looked outside Sr. Helen said, “Look carefully. Look at the green. Once a year we get this green and we should celebrate it. It is what hope looks like.” At fourteen I didn’t get it but I’m happy to report, I eventually did. These days I make a point of celebrating the green and sometimes I even invite a class to look out the window with me, knowing they won’t get it…yet. But maybe some April day when the green all of the sudden pops they’ll feel the same hope I do.

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

Of connections and kindness...

A couple of years ago I wrote about where I work and how North Mianus was the nice school. I've also written about the power of connections. Last week was a perfect example of these two things coming together in a force of love.

In my last post I wrote about Sam, an eight year boy who has Vanishing White Matter Disease, and his amazing family. They designated April 4th (the anniversary of Sam's diagnosis) as Mismatched Shoe Day and encouraged folks to wear mismatched shoes and make a donation to the VWM Family Foundation. 

As I previously stated, I have never met Sam but we are connected nonetheless.

His mom is friends with and grew up with Jen, one of our former assistant principals;

Kat, another former assistant principal, was Sam's teacher at Glenville School;

Sam attended pre-school with Michael, our music teacher's, son;

Sam and his family are neighbors with one of my all time favorite people, Carolyn, who when I started working at North Mianus showed me what being the kind school was all about;

Finally, one of our parents, Alice, is good friends with Sam's mom. Alice donated the bracelets and delivered our donation...

Speaking of our donation, at NMS, we got the student council involved - they shared Sam's story and we asked for donations. And donations we received. In an amazing display, the North Mianus Community raised $3720.00. I can't say I'm surprised but I am in awe. And my heart is full.

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

Because, Sam...

The news has been tough to read/watch lately. I know I shouldn’t be surprised. I think I had become a bit immune to what’s happening in Washington and even locally but the three recent suicides associated with the school shootings in Florida and Newtown have made me so very sad. My heart hurts.

As I navigate the negativity I wonder about where this whole mantra of life is random love is not is taking me. Right now? The answer is nowhere, I’m stuck. Sure I wear my bracelet everyday and we have some bags and hats with the quote but what else can I do?

Despite being a bit lost, I still believe love is the answer. I also believe stories help so today I’m sharing the story of a young man named Sam. I have never met Sam (though we share the same birthday). I have never met his parents but they are the very definition of LIRLIN. Sam is eight years old and suffers from Vanishing White Matter disease. He is one of only 245 people who suffer from VWM and so the money for research is lagging. Sam and his parents are on a mission to raise two million dollars. 

I will not do this story justice so I’m going to supply some links that will explain who Sam is, who his family is and why they inspire me. You can also find out why I’ll be wearing mismatched shoes on April 4th. I hope you’ll consider doing the same.

Greenwich Time article (what got me thinking)

Facebook (I suggest watching Sam’s parents)

Website: https://vwmff.org

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

Play the cards you're dealt...

Over the last several weeks we have had a friend enter a skilled nursing facility, another friend finish up 25 rounds of radiation in her ongoing battle with ovarian cancer, a third friend, she of the metastatic breast cancer, was just released from the hospital after a two week stay with an infection of unknown origin. A week before Christmas the dad of a student from school died after a short, fierce fight with stage four pancreatic cancer. Just yesterday we found out an old friend of the family passed away.

Sometimes trying to understand why stuff happens to people you love is a fruitless endeavor. Life is hard. 

But then maybe your phone rings, quite unexpectedly, in the middle of the first school day of the new year and you find out that your niece, one of your most favorite people in the world, has given birth to daughter number two, twelve days earlier than expected and they are both doing great. Your heart swells with joy. And love. By the next day your face hurts from smiling. 

As full as your heart is, it’s also a little heavy, wondering if what you put back into the world is enough. 

A friend recently shared a Cheryl Strayed quote with me, “You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” I think that’s my answer - if I play the hell out of the cards I’m holding, then yes, what I’m putting back into the world will always be enough. 

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

Older sister Quinn, Great Aunt Amy & Reese!