Related by love

My mother died 19 years ago. A reformed smoker, she battled metastatic lung cancer for almost four years, lasting far longer than any doctor could have predicted. I learned then that you can't measure what's inside a person's heart.

As tough as that time was there are moments that make me smile - from my dad sharing a joke I had never heard ("Hey shoes, why not have a party and invite the pants down,"), to the seven of us carrying our mom's casket, to my aunt's description of how Suann was related to the Coupe family.

As I mentioned in my last post, Suann came into my life our senior year of college. I was a commuter while Suann lived on campus. I was not prepared to come out but I wanted Suann to know my family. It didn't take long for her to get into the flow and my parents often introduced her as their 5th daughter. She showed up, never said no, especially when my mom asked her to take photos and was very much a part of the family. Holidays, weddings, birthdays, Suann was there. My parents never asked for details and I never offered any for fear of how they would react.

At my mom's wake, eleven years after we had gotten together, one of my cousins watched Suann weave seamlessly through our family. He asked his mother, my dad's older sister who she was and how she was related. Aunt Doris replied, "That's Suann. She's related by love."

Related by love. At 70+ years my aunt nailed it. Labels don’t matter. Love does. 

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

"I think this might be love...."

Thirty plus years ago I was twenty-two years old and fairly certain I knew myself pretty well. I had finally discovered teaching was my vocation and was in the last year of college pursuing that dream.

Then I met Suann.

Apparently I didn’t know myself as well as I thought.

Up until then I was quite comfortable with the idea of going through life alone. I was surrounded by family and they were all I needed. Or so I thought.

We tell similar versions of the same story. It won’t surprise those who know us that my version doesn’t take as long to tell. Suann likes to say we dated for a couple of months without me knowing it and she chased me until I caught her. Both are accurate. She was everything I was not, summed up best in the quote she used on the invitation to her senior art show, “I am here to live out loud.” (Emile Zola). 

It was during the final preparations of her show that she finally told me what I was feeling, “I think this might be love.” That was the first time she was right.

How did we make it this far? We laugh a lot; we are quick to forgive and we have short memories. And Suann travels, which feeds both her extroversion and my introversion.

This life of ours isn’t perfect but it sure is fun. 

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM

Snow Days, Mothers, Birds, and Snurfboards

I'm not a fan of snow but as a teacher I love a well placed snow day. Even better - when they call school the night before. Today met both those criteria - well placed and announced at 6:30 last night. I always think I'll get a whole lot of stuff done but usually I end up in my favorite chair, reading.

I spent some quality time in the aforementioned chair but in addition to reading I wrote some haikus. My favorite of the bunch is posted above. I'm not sure how good it is but it brought back some great memories.

My mom loved birds. She had a feeder right outside the kitchen window and nothing made her happier than when the cardinals visited. As I watched the birds this afternoon I thought of my mom and I thought about snow days when we were kids. I liked them so much more then. We had this tiny little hill in the backyard and we would ride my brother's snurfer, the precursor to today's snowboards, from the top of the hill into Mrs. Legler's yard. And it was so very fun.

If you spend a lot of time reading the news these days it's hard  to find joy and I'm always thankful when something as simple as happy birds remind me:

LIFE IS RANDOM LOVE IS NOTTM